Children at play are some of the most entertaining individuals we will ever observe. Their play time can be the observer’s opportunity to learn.
Notice that I didn’t say meet. Of course, meet makes sense as well, but take a few moments to think about those little ones playing—at times quietly amongst themselves and at other times in such heated discourse that we have to break up the discussions before physical altercations begin. Their course of play tends to change when they meet adults, regardless of the reason for the meeting.
Needless to say, a meeting necessitated by unacceptable behavior is generally not too pleasant for either party. The young child may sense the end of playtime and the start of “pay” time…meaning time out or any other activity that brings current pleasantries to a grinding halt. The adult (parent, care taker, aunt, uncle, etc) often recalls his/her participation in such unwelcomed activities; all too often, the realization comes shortly after the discipline stage of the meeting has taken place. Oh, no! Now the guilt sets in, and the “ruling” party (yes, the adult) begins second-guessing. Should I have been so hard? Was the behavior really that bad? Maybe it was the kid from next door that started the ruckus?
What happens when we call little Peter off to the side to let him know we approve of his splendid behavior? Often, the play pattern taking place after the positive stroking changes as well. Our specimen of perfect behavior returns to the play area with an adjusted attitude. No, we haven’t purposefully adjusted his/her attitude as we might when trying to correct negative behavior. Yet the little one returns to play in a guarded state, knowing that he/she is being watched. Some might believe that guarded state of behavior is healthy and stands to reinforce the parameters of acceptable behavior. Yet, should we not consider the child’s behavior was within the parameter of acceptable behavior prior to our positive discussion?
So what do changes in play have to do with lessons learned from children at play? The position from which I make my observations is one of privilege. No, I don’t mean I’m an expert when it comes to children, far from it as a matter of fact. I’m at an age where my children are having children. My friends’ children are having children. In not so modern terms, “I’ve been there and done that.” “I’ve got the t-shirt.” But there is method in my madness; there are lessons to be learned from watching the youngsters at play. Observation can be extremely beneficial if I am within earshot of the playtime location.
As a writer, I find these periods of observation quite helpful. I have the opportunity to see interactions between children and learn how the size of the play party often influences behavior of the participants. For example, there might be three children aged 3 – 5 playing together. Naturally, I’d expect the five-year-old to be the leader of the pack, but that expectation may be just that—an expectation—because the four-year-old is leading the efforts.
As a result, I now have a few different patterns of behavior upon which to model characters. In looking back at my earlier points concerning intervention (positive or negative), I have a better understanding of how parental involvement can influence behaviors.
I’ve gone on long enough!
Know that this post is not meant to be some mind-blowing revelation. I simply wish to encourage all to take in the lessons from children at play.
Until Next Time –
Grey
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